Along with friends, I am participating in a writing challenge over at Frankie’s Wining Room. Each piece is intended to stand alone, but if you (like me) enjoy seeing the chronological progression of things in writing, I recommend you read them in order. This is the second piece of flash fiction for Week 1, which follows the one I posted in Illness, Achievements, and Challenges.
Grey. Everything around her was grey, from the choppy water’s surface to the cloud-strewn sky above it, to the glass-and-chrome structures perforating that same sky with a million different shades of endless grey. The fingers of one hand tapped the slate leather seat beneath her heathered leggings as she shifted the notebook on her lap, careful to prevent its coil binding from snagging on her dove-grey angora sweater. Even her pencil was grey, its graphite tip shimmering in the soft light filtering through tinted windows.
She furiously scratched every impression on her page, not wanting to leave out a single detail of her visit. Only a brief amount of time was available to record everything—sounds, sights, smells, tastes, colors. The specks of color dancing amid the steel girders of the bridge across the way drew her eye. Sunny yellow, petal pink, and a rosy shade of apricot performed a delicate dance against an industrial backdrop of architectural wonder.
Turning to Frank, she was about to ask if they would be driving closer to those specks of color when she suddenly realized he was on a phone call. Absorbed in thought and scribbling inspiration, she hadn’t even noticed his phone vibrate. Maybe it’s his agent. She returned to the task at hand—her whole purpose for being in this city in the first place—and let her fingers fly across the page once again.
Now it’s your turn. Leave a comment or send me a message to give feedback. Check out the writing challenge for yourself if you are curious to see how different individuals have approached the same material, or if you would also like to participate.
Until the next time…
Corrie Lavina Knight Editing Services 
Security Consultant, 3rd limited. I knew this because we were closer to the main character, and her thoughts were in italics.
Because I read the POV 1 first, I am assuming this is Lucy. But again, I would like to see her introduced at the beginning – because these are short stand-alone pieces and we want to know who we are reading about. The contrast between the overwhelming grey and colored balloons is fun. I wanted to see this:
Only a brief amount of time was available to record everything—sounds, sights, smells, tastes, colors
written out with the senses rather than being told this is what she was doing. Even in 3rd limited, those things can be expanded on. What does she smell? What does she hear? Taste?
I would like to see this one expanded a bit. Give me just a little more glimpse of what is going on. I do like how you have kept with the same character though. If it goes where I am thinking, it has the effect of the camera zooming in closer and closer as the story moves on. Very cinematic. 🙂
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She isn’t a security consultant, and her name isn’t Lucy. But you are correct, there is definitely a connection.
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